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Posts Tagged ‘positive thinking’

The Tyranny of Positive Thinking

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

dark night of the soul

I was coaching the members of my Financial Alchemy Academy yesterday.

One of my members is going a major life transition, and she was judging herself for her naturally occuring feelings of grief and unhappiness.

Somewhere along the way, in all her years of personal development, she picked up the message (like most of us do), that she was supposed to be happy all the time. No matter what.

There was something wrong with her for being human…

Haven’t we all felt this way?

I call this the Tyranny of Positive Thinking.

Is positive thinking the answer? Not always.

Not all valid perspectives are happy perspectives.

I believe that when tragedy strikes we need to do EVERYTHING we can to heal and get better…  Sometimes we have to fight for happiness, or to simply survive those really hard times.

Healing takes time. And if we want to help our friends and clients, we MUST respect the life cycle of grief, even if it takes years.

(more…)

The Lie of Attraction

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

I love and believe in all this vision board/intention setting/beliefs change your reality filter stuff. (Full Disclosure: I don’t even have time to create vision boards anymore. I’m manifesting too fast for that. These days by the time I finish telling a friend what I want–such as, “I want to spend my next birthday in New Zealand”–I’m getting a phone call telling me I’ll be spending my next birthday in New Zealand…)

And there’s a big BLIND SPOT in all of this. (more…)

Why “The Secret” Is a Scam

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

thou shalt not hear, see, nor speak any negative vibrations

thou shalt not hear, see, nor speak any negative vibrations

So there’s this movie that purports to share the biggest secret of the ages, carefully hidden until now, blah blah blah. Don’t get me wrong–this is an immensely uplifting, feel good movie. It has value. And it’s also full of crap. What exactly is their “secret”? It’s not like Think and Grow Rich or The Power of Positive Thinking, or The Law of Attraction have been kept hidden by some cabal of powerful business men. None of this is new, and none of it’s a secret. In fact these are the titles of immensely popular and influential books over the last century.

So what’s the secret?

Esther Hicks found hers and teaches through the voice of Abraham. Wayne Dyer found his and he teaches the Power of Intention. Byron Katie found hers and teaches The Work. I found mine, and I teach Financial Alchemy.

But even these aren’t the secret.

Cause you can do everything “right”–the mantras, the meditations, the visioning, the vibrations, the positive thinking–and not see a change in your circumstances. You’re still waiting for that abundance and prosperity you’ve been promised. Give yourself a break. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re not less worthy. There’s nothing wrong with your vision board. You’re just where you are. Right now. We all take a turn in that dark night of the soul.

“Be a light unto yourself,” the Buddha taught. Take all these teachings in, and take them all with a grain of salt. There’s an old Irish adage that says you have to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather is. Nobody else’s law is your law, not even the Law of Attraction.

I believe in a strong Tendency of Attraction. Don’t get me wrong–I’m all about attraction. I think about something and a few days later it shows up. But a law of attraction? Like always attracts like? Not really:

Twenty four years ago, I was in rapturous love for the first time. I was getting straight A’s and awards in high school. And I had just come home from my first trip to Europe. It was a very high vibration time. Until I was hit by a car, went into a coma, and came out with a serious brain injury that destroyed my life for a few years. I had to let go of everything I knew about spirituality at that time just to survive. In this instance, at least, like did not attract like.

While I may quibble with the Law of Attraction, I choose to believe in a Law of the Highest Good: everything happens for the highest good. Everything. You just have to survive it first.

So what really is “the secret”?

Sure, there’s more and more evidence of a connection between mind and matter. There’s a connection between you and the universe itself. “As above so below” is the first law of Alchemy. How you access and express those connections is unique to you. You have to find it yourself.

What you discover will probably look A LOT like what other people have been saying for the last 10,000 years, but it’s different when it comes from you.

Other stuff will look very different and may be even more important. It’s your contribution. In fact this may be what you’re here to teach so others can discover their own secret.

Every personal discovery changes history forever.

We all have to reinvent the wheel at some level for ourselves. I cannot presume to have your answers, only suggestions. The finger the teacher points at the moon is not the moon itself. That’s the only “law” there is.